Repulsive person

I can see us. There, lying in your messy bed, pillows under our heads, looking silently the roof, me looking silently at you. Searching for your cold hand, hiding in some part of your hairy, darkened chest. Wrapping my legs around your firm body. That familiar taste on your lips.

I can see us in your room. The TV is on, there’s a football match you can’t miss. Your excitement, your screams, the way you jump out of the bed, your happiness when you ask me for another beer to celebrate. I take three with me so I don’t have to leave your side.

I can see us. In your apartment, your muscles going up and down up and down up and down, catching my sight while I talk to you about something. Up and down, up and down. Sweat going down your neck, lips tightly pressed together. The weight falls, it was hard you say. You laugh and all the somethings go away when I laugh too.

I can see us in your car driving somewhere. The swollen blue veins of your arms on the steering wheel, your hair chest peeking out of your massive, tight t-shirt. Me talking about a random song I think you should listen. You talking over my words. I love when you talk.

I can see you. At your friend’s place, talking loudly, I can always hear you from the other side of the room. Big shoulders. Your head moving from one side to the other, like a small tennis ball. Your arms pressing against your shirt. Slightly relaxed. Looking more and more confident and comfortable and happier. You call me, I grab some beers, you smile. Beer-like kiss.

I can see you walking fast, always a little bit forward, pulling from my hand. You walk, I walk, we walk. I tell you about a funny something that happened, but maybe is not that funny because you put on that serious face. You stay quiet, you think, you talk and talk infinitely about it. I understand that is not funny. I put the serious face. It’s just what I think you say. You smile. I smile. We smile.

I can see us. Back in your room, playing chess. You know I don’t know how to, but you’re having fun. I lose twice. You say I need to think to play. You play, I think. You win. If you don’t think is not funny at all you say. It’s too easy for you to win because you’re good so you’re right. I’ll think better next time. You hug me sweetly.

I can see you lying on your bed. The muscles and the hair and the beers and your words and your intelligence. I can see us.


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